A Codependent Mind

S7 - Relationship Toolkit #10: Money

As discussed in a previous episode, Brian used money to fuel his codependent habits. Healing from codependency also involved developing a new understanding of the role money plays in his life and his relationship. In this episode, we discuss what kind of tool money is and what challenges and opportunities it presents. 
In this episode:
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (Wikipedia)
00:01:01 Financial Codependency00:04:42 Financial Dependency00:07:56 The Tool of Money00:10:45 What is Money for?00:22:33 The Monetary Value of Relationships00:32:27 Questions to Ask Before You Spend
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
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S7 - Relationship Toolkit # 11: Gratitude

Be grateful! We are told that at various points on our lives as was to cure numerous ails in our lives and in the world. In this episode, we talk about what gratitude can and cannot to for your relationships.
 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. 
 
 

S7 - Relationship Tool #12: Apology

Can you tell the difference between a genuine apology and apology theater? In this episode, we discuss to tool of apology - how narcissists use it, how Brian used it codependently and how to use it authentically to make long lasting repairs to relationships. 
00:02:30 Apology Theater00:03:20 Narcissistic Apologizing00:07:19 DARVO00:13:09 Codependent Apologizing00:19:12 Authentic Apologizing00:20:32 Empathetic Repair
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Toolkit #13: Conflict

Brian spent most of his life being 'conflict avoidant' at least that is how he understood it. Really the powerlessness and shame that underlied his codependency meant that any interpersonal conflict felt existentially threatening. In this episode we discuss how to approach conflict differently such that it functions as a tool for learning and connection rather than destruction.
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.
 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Tool #14: Attention

In this episode we discuss the relationship tool of attention. Paying attention can be difficult for people with relationship trauma and codependent habits. It was certainly challenging for Brian. Healing codependency has involved re-learning how to use the tool of attention, directing its use to building strong connections with people we care about who care about us.   
00:01:22 Feeling close - making bids
00:04:01 Listening and attention
00:08:05 Attention and trauma
00:20:53 Good attention and bad attention
00:22:49 Productive attention
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.
 
 

S7 - Relationship Tool #15: Communication

Communication is vital to any relationship, but for those of us with relational trauma, it can be difficult to figure out what that means. If we aren't getting yelled at or insulted, it feels like good communication. Bad communication is when someone is disappointed or upset with us. Join us as we talk through Brian's new understanding of the role communication has played and can play in his relationships. 
00:01:13 Communication as a relationship tool00:03:15 Shame00:17:35 Verbal violence and reactive abuse00:23:01 Communication as a productive tool
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.
 

S7 - Relationship Tool #16: Sex

In Season 4, we had a four part series on codependency, trauma and sex. In this episode we focus on the role sex can play in a relationship For Brian, shifting from a performance mindset to a connection mindset made all the difference. 
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Tool #17: Entitlement

We have talked about entitlement quite a bit. Mostly about how Brian's narcissistic partners have used their feelings of entitlement as fuel to abuse and mistreat him and other people. In this episode we explore how the feelings of entitlement can be used productively to strengthen a relationship rather than degrade it. 
 
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms. 
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Tool #18: Jealousy

In this episode, we take on the complex emotion of jealousy, exploring its potential as a constructive tool within relationships. As we have discussed in previous episodes emotions, including jealousy, are neither good nor bad but rather signals offering valuable insight. Learning how to use jealousy as a tool involves being able to interpret and apply the information that jealousy offers. 
00:00:11 Jealousy00:01:46 Not Feeling Jealousy00:03:04 Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships00:06:38 Compersion00:09:16 Jealousy-Like Behaviors00:06:38 Compersion00:11:34 Distinguishing Jealousy from Control00:13:14 Jealousy as a Measurement Tool00:19:38 Working Together Through Jealousy
Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.
You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com
Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1
The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.