S3 - #13 Beyond Codependency - 12 Steps, part 2

This episode is a continuation of the previous episode, S3 - #12 Beyond Codependency - 12 Steps. We discuss steps six through 12. Below are all 12 steps, plus reference to previous episodes that expand on the ideas and actions described by each individual step. 

1. I admitted that I was powerful, that my life could be manageable.

• S1 - #5 Codependency and Lack of Agency
• S3 - #10 Beyond Codependency - Codependency Revisited

2. I came to believe that human interpersonal relationships are a core feature of an enriching life experience, and that my habitual codependent behaviors were holding me back from having that experience.

• S1 - #4 Codependency and Narcissism
• S3 - #4 Beyond Codependency - Relationships
• S3 - #3 Beyond Codependency - People Pleasing
• S3 - #9 Beyond Codependency - Caretaking

3. I made a decision to listen to what my emotions are telling me and understand the ways in which I had been avoiding or burying those emotions.

• S1 - #7 Codependency and Emotional Immaturity

4. I made a searching and fearless inventory of all the relationships in my life, past and present, what effect those people’s behaviors have had on me, and the effects my behaviors have had on those people.

• S1 - #3 Codependency and Trauma Bonding
• S2 - #5 Healing Codependency - Loving a Codependent Mind

5. I admitted to another human being that I value and trust the exact nature of those behaviors and relationships, to the best of my ability.

• S2 - #1 Healing Codependency - Getting Started

6. I was entirely ready to face the shame and fear that I had been burying or avoiding, asking for help from others, when necessary.

• S1 - #6 Codependency and Shame
• S2  - #2 Healing Codependency - Emotional Development

7. I searched for the root causes of all my maladaptive behavior patterns and worked on strategies for healing from the effects of those causes.

• S1 - #1 Codependency - Origins
• S1 - #2 Codependency and Trauma
• S3 - #2 Beyond Codependency - Diagnosis
• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.

8. I made a list of all my wants, needs, desires, values and expectations for my life and for my relationships.

• S2 - #1 Healing Codependency - Getting Started

9. Using that list, I made an honest attempt to look at the big picture of my life to see which of my actions and which of my relationships were or weren’t serving my wellbeing.

• S2 - #3 Healing Codependency - Re-Writing Stories
• S3 - #5 Beyond Codependency - Family of Origin

10. I continue to cultivate my ability to recognize what power I have and how I can apply that power to make changes I need to make or accept things I can’t change.

• S3 - #7 Beyond Codependency - The Serenity Prayer

11. I continue to watch how I use my language, and for the motivations behind my initial reactions to situations or other people’s behaviors, and when they resemble what I understand as codependency, promptly correct myself.

• S2 - #4 Healing from Codependency - Breaking the Powerlessness Habit

12. Having gained the self-awareness and wisdom that has come from taking these steps, I commit to making all of these new behaviors my habitual behaviors.

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